Friday, 11 January 2013

The Removal Of Wisdom

Good news for me, I got three views on my last post! No, seriously, three whole views! I am absolutely ecstatic! I was just sending my thoughts floating out onto the internet cloud more as a cure for insomnia, but I can't sleep now! Golly gosh my dear friends this is lovely isn't it? I'd sort of made up my own person who'd read my posts because I thought no one would ever read them. For some reason it was always a guy with dark hair and glasses who lived in the deepest darkest depths of Canada. (Clearly I need to get out more.)

So this has cheered me up terribly as I had my remaining two wisdom teeth taken out today. It was fine actually. I mean, it's never fine when someone is coming at your face with what look like torture devices from the Spanish Inquisition. What I mean to say is it didn't hurt a bit thanks to the anaesthetic!

The first time I was injected with anaesthetic at the dentist, I was not warned.  So when my dentist came towards me with the huge, like really MASSIVE needle, I shouted, 'HOLY SHIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!' It was the first time I had been to that particular surgery so I was naturally overwhelmed by all the unfamiliarity. I had only met the man 10 minutes before hand and already he wanted to prod me with his instrument in my mouth, no thank you! (You see what I did there? Oh come on! It's funny!)  But needless to say, the rest of the appointment was incredibly almost unbearably awkward.

I generally find trips to the dentist awkward. Ones dentist is not someone you would meet on a daily basis, you wouldn't necessarily like to sit next to them at a dinner party or go for a pint with them. Yet we let them prod and poke our mouths in every way possible. Occasionally, you might even get the odd armpit in your face while they stretch across you. Then, they try and make conversation with you, while they have their instruments of pain in your mouth. And not just simple yes or no answer questions, oh no, lets not be silly. The particular breed in question insist on asking you about your holidays, your comments on today's weather and might even spring the odd dentistry joke on you (a 'Knock, knock' one of course, audience participation is always encouraged).

As if the whole experience couldn't get any more weird, try all of this when half of your mouth (and one nostril) has been numbed by the anaesthetic. Being British, I felt the need to be polite the whole time and so hopelessly tried to engage in the conversation being instigated. It mainly ended up with me just making a lot of whale like mating sounds, with my tongue hanging out of my mouth and caused my saliva to sprinkle over my dentist.

It was definitely a Mr Gumby moment.

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