Thursday, 30 May 2013

Sometimes It's Hard To Be A Woman!

All summer holidays are now booked! Woohoo! Can't wait! First Spain and then Croatia, it's going to be fabulous! I promise to tell you all about it when I get back. In the mean time...

So seeing as I just moved, I needed to register with the local doctor. You, my lovely mystery reader, already know I don't tend to have the easiest experiences with those related to the medical profession ( see previous post The Removal of Wisdom). I knew it wasn't going to be a smooth process the moment I was presented with a small sterile pot. I assumed in my head what it may be for but I didn't want to say in out loud, in fear that I may be correct. Alas, I was. I was required to pee in this pot *shudder*. Never have I been asked to bottle my bodily fluids so naturally, I freaked out a little. Okay, maybe quite a bit. Alright, I was totally freaking out!

Times like these I wish I was a man. When it comes to peeing, they have it easy. I don't think they fully appreciate the difficulty that falls upon women when it comes to aiming their own urine into a small pot. Then comes the problem of making sure the label doesn't get wet so that you can write your name on it after. Next thing that I couldn't quite get the hang of was how much do I fill the pot up? And how do I stop once it's full? Because, when the floodgates are open, there is no holding it back. After a mini pep talk with myself, and I calculated the mechanics of the operation in store, it was carried out successfully. All that careful planning was worth it.

To top it off, my actual appointment at the doctor's surgery wasn't so comfortable either but because I want to entice you, my dear reader into reading more things by moi I'm going to leave this on an incredibly dramatic cliff hanger.....

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Bizarre Encounters

I think it's about time that I told you a story. Have you ever been in a situation that you least expected? Maybe met someone you never thought to talk to? Then when that moment arrived, it turned out to be one of the weirdest moments of your life? Like when you are sitting with your friends, eating lunch in the school canteen and someone who you have never talked to in your life comes to sit with you. This is a person that you may never have thought twice and or never desired to come into contact with. Well, I had such an encounter a couple of years ago that is still fresh in my mind...

Once upon a time, Sophia was talking to a group of friends in school about going on holiday to Poland and travelling through the Polish countryside by car. A Polish student then appeared and decided to contribute to the conversation...

Polish Person: When you were driving you probably saw all the many dead cats, no?
Sophia: Dead cats?
Polish Person: Yes, on the side of the road. All the time! All the time!
Sophia: Ummm... no I don't think I saw any actually - 
Polish Person: - there are so many! And the smell is awful! You know? 
Sophia: I can only imagine.
Polish Person: It's like the inside of a coffin. Have you smelt the inside of a coffin?
Sophia: I can't say that I have, no. 
Polish Person: It is horrible! I was there when they opened a coffin that was 10 years old! Pfff! It was disgusting, you know?!
Sophia: Uh-huh.

Following this encounter there are a few points I feel need to be made: firstly, I was driving for about 4 hours and didn't see any dead cats, and secondly, why would someone upon spotting a dead cat, or any kind of road kill for that matter, stop to smell it? Who thinks, 'Oooohhh would you look at that! I bet it smells lovely. Let just pull over had have a quick whiff... Oh no! Oh god! I was wrong! It smells really bad!'

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

The Pros And Cons Of Free Rose Wine

Believe it or not, I have actually been to a Polish pop concert. I got free tickets because I'm working temporarily for one of the VIPs so I was happy to go along. I ended up meeting a tonne of people I didn't know which got awkward at times BUT ended up drinking lots of lovely rose wine in the end! Yay!

Then, quite sadly, I got home to find that Freddie (Mercury) the fish, had died. My dad made some coffee which got really burnt and stank the whole house out and the fumes, he says,  must have gotten into the fish's water. I never thought it would ever possible to say this, but... my fish got gassed! My parents are in the horrible habbit of killing my fish and it's getting a bit tedious now to be honest. 

First there was Shakira, then Bruno (Mars), and of course, the Fredmeister. Anyone noticing a theme here? But I've got the day off tomorrow so I'm off to by another! Ideas for names anyone?