Sunday, 23 June 2013

Confusion and Hygiene

With reference to my previous publication, I asked my sister's how they would describe me in three words. Their answers were identical, 'Tall and confused.' I didn't penalise them for the third word for I knew they had me so spot on, nothing further need leave their lips. Indeed, it is true that the very creature writing this article has been known to be baffled by many things that the 'old bean' (as P.G. Wodehouse once described it) cannot cope with. It may possibly be a result of my bashing my head a lot as a child (accidentally of course). But sometimes I don't like to look at these moments of perplexity as confusion, rather a search for clarity or a longing for further explanation. That way it makes me sounds more like a scholar of philosophy *happy face*

Many situations, such as when I travel or have to become accustomed to something new (however small) have produced occasions when a moment of confusion has struck. Recently I have come into contact with products of a hygienic nature that has made one think twice about where or whether it ought to be applied. For example, brown shower gel. I'll say that again, brown shower gel. While holidaying in Spain visiting my grandparents (more on that later), there was a bottle in the bathroom clearly labelled 'Shower Gel' so naturally one does not hesitate to apply where it is needed. But when the brown, sticky liquid oozed into my palm, hesitation was in order. Why brown? Seeing it there in my hand, I was pretty sure it was going to have the opposite of the desired effect.
Would you use it?
Furthermore, upon my return home, the new toothpaste that I dressed my tooth brush with, was green. 'Green? There's nothing wrong with that Sophia. Toothpaste comes in all sorts of colours nowadays.' Oh but dearest reader, this was no ordinary green. This was the kind of green that I would only associate with a nuclear experiment, mushy peas and those alien birthpod toys (weren't those weird?). Why does the hygiene industry insist on these insane colours? Do they spare no thought for the confus├ęd people? Reluctantly, I used the health hazard toothpaste, the after effects being that the inside of my mouth has subsequently caught onto the toxic green look. And as you can imagine it looks gorgeous... No, not really, in truth I look like Princess Fiona. The irony being that this particular product is advertised as giving you whiter looking teeth in two weeks... my bottom it does! 

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